It's a god-awful small affair            [Verse]

To the girl with the mousy hair      Bb  Dm Fm G7

But her mummy is yelling no          Cm D# F7 F7

And her daddy has told her to go

But her friend is nowhere to be seen

Now she walks through her sunken dream  [Pre-

To the seat with the clearest view       Chorus]

And she's hooked to the silver screen    C#  C#

                                         Bbm  B

But the film is a saddening bore         F#  Bb7

(For she's lived it ten times or more    D#m F#7

 She could spit in the eyes of fools)

As (they ask her) to focus on           [Chorus]

                                   (D#  G#

Sailors fighting in the dance hall  Cm7 G#m

Oh, man, look at those cavemen go   Bb   Bbm

It's the freakiest show             Fm7 G#m7 x2)

Take a look at the                  Cm7 B

Lawman beating up the wrong guy     D#  F

Oh, man, wonder if he'll ever know

He's in the best selling show           [Instru]

Is there life on Maaaaars          Bb  G7 Cm   A7

                                   Dm D# D#m7 X

It's on America's tortured brow

That Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow ╔═════════╗

Now the workers have struck for fame ║ Life on ║

'Cause Lennon's on sale again        ║  Mars?  ║

See the mice in their million hordes ║  David  ║

From Ibiza to the Norfolk Broads     ║  Bowie  ║

Rule Britannia is out of bounds      ╚═════════╝

To my mother, my dog and clowns  [Pre-

                                  Chorus]

(Because I wrote it ten times or more     [Cho-

 It's about to be writ again) (I ask you)   rus]